I don’t know what is worse
You speaking to me with emptiness
Or you not speaking to me at all
Both are equally as painful
You live
In an untouchable place in my heart
A place I can’t even reach
Not to heal it
Not to remove it
Not even to sedate it
I at least wish to tame it
It burns into all aspects of my life
Like my schizophrenic buddy
My shadow
I’m trying
Ignoring
Disengaging
With everyday new pain emerges
And I find myself
Hating and loving you more
Angry all the time
At you
At myself
I fell too hard
Too fast
How do I cope?
When I’m grasping each breath
Barely warding off suffocation