I Paid 10 Dollars

I paid 10 dollars for a date
Not just any date
My end date
This date ruled my life
I romanticized it
Planned my days upon it
Dreamed about it
This date evolved into my faith
What else was there?
In my mind
My fate was ordered
It wasn’t
The difference
I no longer claim myself
As a host for a death wish
“Write about death
Think about death
Do not become death”
She says
Death, kill the old me
Because I choose a new life
In order to uncover and haunt You
This isn’t a second chance
This is reality
And I’m wide awake

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